Category: Approaching

Approching Women With Balls Of Steel [Direct]

Good Approaches That Will Work

Using direct openers to approach women is one of the most exhilarating things you can do as a man. It takes a lot of balls to go up to a woman and convey how you feel directly. That’s why it’s fun, and that’s why it works. In a direct opener, you immediately indicate your intentions within seconds of meeting the girl.

A good opener will not only let her know that you’re interested, but will tell her WHY you’re interested as well.

Here’s how to do a direct approach:

First, start with eye contact and a smile. I know this is obvious but it’s also one of the biggest mistakes that guys make when approaching. You should be happy to see the girl and this happiness makes you smile.

Examples:

Good

“Hi, I really like your necklace and I just had to come talk to you”

“You looked interesting and I just had to come say hi”

“You look adorable and I just had to come meet you”

“Hey, I have a weakness for tall blondes wearing red shoes, what else do you do you have going for you?”

“You seem friendly, hi”

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Approach Anxiety – The Magic Pill Solution

Never Get Anxiety Again

Approach anxiety is a very normal feeling, in my own experience I have found it to be something that can be significantly reduced but never actually completely vanquished.  The best way to get rid of approach anxiety is to start off with REALLY easy approaches and build up to more challenging ones.

Warm up before approaching women:

Here are some openers you can use to warm-up, they are made to be easy and VERY low risk (in other words, you won’t get rejected and it will give you a chance to get into a talkative state)

  • Ask somebody for a pencil so that you can write something down.  While they are searching for the pen or pencil it is a great time to make small talk.
  • Ask somebody for change for a dollar or a five…again while they are rooting around for the change you make small talk.
  • Ask for the time, when they stop to give it to you make small talk if you don’t feel too nervous.
  • Ask for directions to a place that is nearby, if they don’t know where it is then ask for suggestions for something like it.
  • Make small talk with a store clerk for 2 to 5 minutes.
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Direct Openers – Bold, Sexy and You

Bold and Sexy

Using a direct opener is one of the most efficient ways to pick up women.  It immediately expresses interest in the girl and will filter out the girls who don’t immediately reciprocate that interest in you. These are the most interesting openers because they jump you right into the action. If you want an adrenaline pumped evening, then go direct with 10 women in a row. You’ll have the night of your life. Here’s how to do it:

Openers

  • Hi, you seemed cool so I figured I would come over and introduce myself to you.
  • Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that I think you (pause for 2 or 3 seconds) look absolutely stunning and I had to meet you.
  • Hello, how are you doing today?  My name is _______
  • You have a really good energy, what is your name?
  • Hello, my name is ____ and I think you are beautiful, would you like to get together sometime?
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Good Openers – Unstoppable Conversation

Openers – A ton of them

Having a good opener ready to say beforehand is important because it will relax you not having to worry about what you are going to say at first.  Seriously, just memorize a few of these and the next time you go out you’ll have the most difficult part handled (the first 10 seconds!)

Openers

  • You know, I love how friendly we are in (whatever city you are in), why do you think we are so friendly here?
  • Excuse me, can I get your opinion about something, what do you think is more important in a relationship having a deep connection or being physically attracted to each other?
  • Hey there, I just saw you standing there and I had to come over and talk to you, my name is _______
  • Excuse me, I am wondering if you could feel comfortable having a conversation with somebody who you just met (on the street, on the bus, in a café etc….)
  • Hi, I have to get going soon but you seemed cool so I decided to come and talk to you for a little bit before…my name’s _____
  • That’s a really nice (pair of shoes, necklace, earrings, dress etc…) where did you get it from?
  • Excuse me, you have great (energy, posture, etc…) what’s your secret?
  • Here is the deal – I am walking around this place and you are the only girl in here that is cute enough to even talk to. Great, now we are talking. (Credit Brad P)
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Indirect Openers – Men Have Opinions

Opinion Openers – How to Use Them

Opening indirectly allows you to approach a girl in a way that has a much smaller chance of you getting shot down.  It does not directly express interest in the girl and, instead asks a question that is harmless.  It is low risk and allows you to start a conversation based on the opener.  Afterwords you can decide the time when you will express interest and attempt to close her.

Indirect Opener Examples:

  • Excuse me, I need a woman’s opinion on something, do you think it is truly possible to stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?  My ex-girlfriend really wants to stay friends with me but I am worried that she will not be able to handle the fact that I am dating other women.
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Situational / Observational Openers – Word By Word

Situational – What to Say

Situational Openers are great for starting an innocent, casual conversation with a girl that can be transitioned into attraction.  Once you get the hang of these openers they can be one of your best tools as they will be spontaneous, unplanned and therefore be used without having to think about anything beforehand.

They usually work because they really get into the internal conversation that is happening at the time of the approach.

Here are some examples that can be used right away:

General

  • That’s a pretty beautiful smile (if you saw her looking at you)
  • Did you see that guy walking by with those weird pants (or any other thing you noticed about the situation you are in).
  • That outfit looks really great on you…
  • You have an excellent posture, have you ever been a dancer?
  • The weather is (insert weather condition here) today isn’t it?
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Approaching Checklist – Remember To Breathe

Before you go out to approach women take a look at this checklist of key things to help maximize your chances of success. We recommend you read this list before approaching in order to calm your mind and focus on the important. It’s short, sweet and will get you in state before you go out.

Style and Hygiene:

  • Brushed teeth and flossed
  • Freshly showered and wearing deodorant/anti-perspirant
  • Freshly pressed, clean clothes
  • Clothes appropriate to the places where you plan to go (i.e. approaching women in cafés during the day vs. nightclubs at night)
  • Clean, stylish shoes

State

  • Well rested, your eyes are a huge indicator of health. Make sure they look refreshed!
  • Listened to music that makes you happy and positive
  • Have chosen friends who are positive and fun to be around to go out with
  • Have a positive attitude and belief about yourself
  • Know the sort of looks and personality that you are looking for in a women
  • Have properly warmed yourself up so that you are in a social mood
  • Have a few opening lines prepared to say just in case you need something to fall back on

How To Approach Women [General]

Approaching women seems really hard when we first start doing it.  In reality it can be extraordinarily easy and simple.  Mystery said this about approaching women: It’s like jumping into a pool… the first time you do it, it’s cold and it might sting a little, but the second time is MUCH easier and after a while it feels perfectly fine. Funny enough though, the next day you’ll come back to the pool and it will STILL be cold when you jump in and you’ll have to repeat the whole process again.

Approaching women is the same thing, the first approach of every day will always be the hardest. After that, it’s smooth sailing.

Immediate Solution:

  • Walk up to the woman and say: “Hi, I noticed you and I would have been kicking myself if I didn’t come and introduce myself, my name is Chris”
    OR
  • Catch the woman’s eye, give her a big smile, and then walk up and say: “Hi, what are you up to?”

Technique:

  1. If you can’t think of what to say first, get inspired with some indirect openers or visit the situational section to have more specific openers, otherwise use a situational opener.
  2. Defeat approach anxiety with the 3 second rule.  The 3 second rule means that you only wait three seconds from the time you see an attractive women to the time that you approach her.  Just follow this mantra… “1, 2, 3 GO!!”

Body Language:

  1. Keep your head up, your mouth slightly parted and your face relaxed.
  2. Move slowly, breath deeply and talk clearly, slowly and relatively loud.
  3. While you are talking to her you should start off almost standing beside her (you are both looking at something), as you are talking you should be mirroring her.  As she becomes more comfortable and attracted to you she will began turning more and more towards you.  Make sure you follow her movements.

Motivation:

It’s important to have a strong motivation to approach that beautiful women on the street, even if you are feeling a little bit nervous.

  • Remember what Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss all the shots you don’t take”.
  • Next time you see a beautiful women that you want to approach tell yourself “If I don’t approach her I will never sleep with her”.

Final note about approaching women:

Attractive women don’t tend to approach men, even if they think you’re the best looking guy on the planet (perhaps especially if they think that).  If you’re in a public place and there’s a hot girl there, there are two possibilities: Either she’s not attracted to your looks and therefore you are insignificant to her, or she is attracted to your looks and would be easily open to an approach.  

Either way, she will not approach you.

The only way to really find out is to approach her and see what happens.  Once you do, the worst that can happen is a rejection and what does that mean?

Absolutely nothing, so GO!